Monday, January 28, 2013

A very heartfelt letter from my son. . .I just had to share

Mom, Let me tell you first how blessed I am to have you in my life. I don't think I've ever thanked you enough... ever! And I don't know when I ever wil completely be able to. I've been trying to deny myself and remain strong, but the simple truth is, I'm so homesick. I figured the first thing I needed to do to get over it is admit it. I've been really good at keeping up with my journal lately ever since the MTC, and my experiences are very valued so far. Last night, I finally got sick of myself. I told myself that I decided to do this. I decided to leave my family and to serve the Lord. I knew that I would get homesick (although I hadn't fathomed how much I'd actually miss you all...) and I knew that adjusting myself wasn't going to be easy. I realized that meant giving myself to God. All of me, inside and out, my thoughts, desires, and will power, are His for these next 2 years. I knew that. I also wrote how much I wish to turn back time and be a better son. Study hard, get good grades, make better friends, date good girls, participate more in church. But I also value the hardships for what they are teaching me now. I was way too lacks, and way too far off the deep end at times. Momma, and to you also Pop, I thank you both so much, with all my heart and soul, for devoting your life to me. For not giving up when you could have just as easily done away with me. For enduring to your end so I can fulfill mine. I realize that your love is Godly in every sense. It's an unspeakable love. It's pretty close to sacred. And I hope you both know that I hold that so close to my heart now while I'm so far from home... I think about you all before I sleep, and I keep having dreams with you all in them, and they feel so real, I wake up from them, and I ache inside to have you all just stop by for a hug... but last night, I knew God was telling me to shake it off. Shake the homesickness, and serve Him, because this is what you want. Not for me to honor the family, not to improve myself, and although yes, they do happen, the overall desire of your hearts it for my to honor my Father in Heaven. Thank you for your prayers and support. My strength is kindled through your prayers and faith. :)

Pop, you still da man! :) Way to lay it down for the stake! :) I feel the blessings rubbing off on me already! I really do. As people open up there homes to me and my comp. Ahh... Skyway Ward... how I miss it! I even miss the cold surprisingly! HA!

OH MAH GASH! Ate Carmen! :D You're getting called to the PI too, to serve in the Laoag PI mish! Hahaha! Good for you sis. :) You're super astig, talaga! Oh! You should listen to this song I randomly heard while tracting with my comp. It's called Patuloy and Pangarap by Angeline Quinto. I remember how much you used to like Filipino songs, so I figured you'd best enjoy it? Hmm... let me know though!

Nia! Keep pushing! The feild is white and already to harvest, and GOD NEEDS YOU! Whever you're going... I feel like you might be state side. Hmm... we'll see! ;)

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